Talking To Yourself

During the last few days, I've been thinking a lot on the subject of self-awareness. When coaching a new client--no matter what I'm doing for that person--the first step I take is to identify that client's unique goals, values, and priorities. This is vital, as all advice or recommendations I make will be geared toward furthering these. But I've learned that I'm not the only one who needs this initial establishment of voice. Often it's the most valuable part of the entire coaching session for the client.

You see, I work to help clarify and refine how people describe themselves and their services, value, and knowledge to other people, whether this means a prospective employer, a customer, or an employee. But before this can happen, the client must identify how she describes these things to herself. Every other communication will rest on this. We must know why we do what we do, why we're the best candidate for a project or position, why our offerings and skills are the very best.

How do you talk to yourself about...yourself? When coaching a job seeker, I explain that immediately defending something that you think is a negative is a huge red flag to interviewers. You must instead focus on the positive while frankly accepting the perceived negative (which, more often than not, is a blessing in disguise). Let me tell you, YOU are much more perceptive than any interviewer when it comes to this particular trick! You know when you're scrambling to cover a perceived problem. You don't like it. And you can rest assured that this will come out when you deal with others, as well.

So I advise you to watch what you say to yourself, before you open your mouth and address anyone else. Come to terms with whatever's bugging you, whatever you see as your weakness. Find a way in which this thing can serve as an asset. If you need help doing this, get it! Appreciate your strengths fully; don't wait for someone else to tell you why you're good. You know better than they do, if you let yourself. Learn to be your own best representative to yourself first and foremost. It will pay off in the end, I promise.